Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Horror of Dating

All characters in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental…

This post goes out to the one who inspired it. Mallory Straus. Here’s what happened: I was sitting by a fire and talking with Mallory and Chris.  I was telling them about something that happened to me a few weekends ago.  The story involved a guy with a fuzzy sweater and repeated longboarding invites from a mystery man.  Mallory told me I should start a “Bad date Horror story” blog. Well I might as well dedicate one blog post to it, right? So here it is.

Where to start? I guess I’ll ease into it with a story that’s not necessarily a date.. but still funny. Here’s a FB Message convo. This is after he sent me a few messages and I had only responded once.


Notice the dates. He waited one day to accuse me of wanting him to leave me alone. One day! Now I probably should have just let it end there, but I kept seeing this guy at the gym. I asked my brother-in-law Tyler about him, because I knew they did strongman together. Tyler said “Uh, don’t date him. He has major anger issues. I wouldn’t piss him off.”  Oh good heavens above …what would you do?!


A pitty number? Really? –Once I knew that he had major mood swings, I felt like I was walking on egg shells.  Later on…



..He volunteered his number.  Keep in mind, that all through our FB messages, I had seen him at the gym multiple times, and he never once spoke to me in person. Not once. Oh FaceBook… what do you do to men these days?   I feel a little bad posting this now. –Which is why I blocked out the name. Please don’t go looking for his profile picture…

I hope this wasn’t too awfully boring. Hopefully there is more to come. I remembered a good story- if I never get around to posting it, remind me to tell you about the California boy and his visit to Utah.

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